Comedy / 13 posts found

The Olympos Bender

The Olympos Bender

I went for a night out in Antalya in Turkey and stayed up all night drinking with my friend Callie, and we then decided to go to Olympos which is 70 km away to continue the party!.
billy watson, billywatsontv, humour, funny, scottish, comedian, poet, poetry, rant

Charity Collectors

Nob Stewart talks about Charity Collectors. This is the full sketch which includes Big Issue Sellers, New Breed of Collectors, Hare Krishnas and The Worst Kind.
I Love Porn

Internet Wanking

So this is the material that got me banned from The Stand Comedy club once and for all. I had been banned a couple of times previously but managed to sneak my way back in but after I performed this set, as the Great White Shaft, apparently some people complained saying that it was misogynist and granted they may have a point. I was just talking from my perspective and meant no disrespect to anyone, but with that performance I kissed goodbye to getting any more gigs there. Maybe I just wasn’t funny enough. The material went down well a […]
Xmas Thoughts

Merry Fuckin’ Xmas

I talk about my feeling on Xmas, which include how the neighbours deliver their Xmas Cards and how they respond when I delivered theirs to them.


Every year at Xmas I come out in a rash of spots. They say spots are related to stress, so maybe it’s the stress of worrying how much money my wife will spend on presents for my family that makes me look like the singing detective. I’d do the shopping myself, but I’m too lazy and my wife enjoys it anyway, so who am I to deny her that pleasure. I’m not being sexist by the way; it’s just that I’m a man. It comes naturally to me. I think it’s been that way ever since the big drought came […]


Have you heard the music on the radio recently? Hardly any of the so called artists can write a song or even play an instrument. They all get told what to sing and then they have to perfect their dance routines. Whatever happened to good music with good lyrics? Lyrics with powerful social comment and philosophical meanderings? Like the Rolling Stones “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” Or The Who “People try to put us down, talking about My Generation” Or The Beatles, John Lennon wrote some fucking great Lyrics, “Goo Goo a joob a goo goo a joob, I am […]


Football – Part One Football – Part Two Football – Part Three Another Version HIBS FAN I am a bit of a football fan. I support a team from Edinburgh called Hibernian or Hibs for short. They are actually pretty shit, so I guess technically I am not really a football fan. I am more like some one who likes to torture them-self by watching 11 headless chickens try and put a hot potato in the back of seemingly minuscule net. Not many people outside of Scotland have heard of Hibernian. In fact, not that many people outside of Edinburgh […]


I rant about Adverts using photos to emphasise my points.

The Police

I give my thoughts on The Police using photos and music clips to help bring home the punchlines.
War On Terrorism

War On Terrorism

This was written about a month after 911 and goes into the incident and aftermath in great detail for comedic effect. :-)