Glasgow Slam 13/12/13

Nob Stewart

A’ went through tae Glasgae tae take part in a Slam organised by Robin Cairns. Afore turnin’ up, a’ went through earlier in the day an’ got totally ripped, which probably wiznae the best idea but it seemed like a guid idea at the time. Here a’ am wi’ ma mate the author Robert Knox whae wiznae ripped but sure looks it in the photae.

Glasgow Slam

A’ wiz gonnae perform twa serious poems but when Robin wiz introducin’ the gig he offered some advice as tae hoo tae win a Slam.  He said suhin like ‘Keep yer poem clear and concise an’ throw a funny bit in somewhere.’

Robin Cairns

So instead ae stickin’ tae ma plan an’ tryin’ tae be yin ae they cool hard hittin poetry type dudes a’ changed ma set at the last minute and went wi’ twa funny or shall we say slichtly humourous poem instead.  The fact a’ wiz stoned oot ae ma napper maybe had suhin tae dae wi’ hoo easily a’ wiz swayed.

Here’s the first yin a done called Dodgy Crowd which is aboot the time a’ stayed in the Salvation Army centre.  A’ wiz strugglin fur laughs but a’ managed tae get yin towards the end which wiznae tae bad.

At the break a’ went ootside tae join ma mates fur a toke an’ the lovely Leyla came up tae uz an’ said ma poem wiz funny.  Well, a’ telt her tae haud ontae her knickers cause there is mare ae the same comin’ fur the second yin. She came in joint 2nd an’ a’ luved her poem aboot Porn which a’ could certainly relate tae.

Ley La

A’ decided tae go wi’ Shame on the Family fur ma second poem, which a’ had even changed a line especially fur this performance, the yin aboot ma Maw’s greetin’. A’ thought it wiz a belter an’ it wiz a bit weird cause a’ could see quite a few folk laughin’ but they were daein’ their best tae haud it in.  Like they were embarrassed tae be seen laughin’ at the Nob.  Well, a’ dae bring oot many a strange reaction in folk so a’ shouldnae be tae surprised.

The competition wiz deservedly won by Miko. He obviously wurked on his poem at least a twa hoors mare than a’ wurked on mine, so fair play tae him. A’ wish him aw the best in the Scottish Slam Final. He is also part ae the Loud Poets collective whae will be launchin’ a regular nicht startin in the New Year. Well worth checkin oot..


Aw in aw though it wiz a guid nicht an’ a got tae meet an auld acquaintence by the name ae Stephen Barnaby. He wiz there dain’ his 50 wurd short stories which never fail tae crack me up. He also organises an open mic nicht in Musselburgh so if ye live oot that way gie him a shoot an’ he’ll fill ye in on the details.

The Photaes

Until the next yin….Cheers the noo!


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