The Light

light

At this point I have no clue
I look at the room
Things I should be doing
Appear out of reach
My mind wonders here and there
I am stuck in a deep rut
I wish it were a groove
That I could absorb myself in
Instead I continue to dream
To think thoughts as a way of doing nothing
I wait for life to give me what I want
Instead of getting what I want
The thing is I don’t know what I want
I try to second guess myself
This keeps me locked in the head
I should be pushing on
Making things happen
I try things, get so far then decide it’s now what I wanted after all
And so my life passes me by
I look at the people around me
I can’t figure out what is going on in their head
They all seem insane to me
I wonder how I look to them
All this anxiety is taking its toll
I’m beginning to look my age
I’m beginning to wonder if its all worth it
Of course when I look in my boys eyes the world seems different
Why then, do I resent him at times?
Is he another trap that I can’t escape from?
Where would I go anyway?
I have no job, no money and no future
I guess I should honour the present moment
There true freedom lies
There I will find a way out of the darkness
And appear in the light in a flash

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