A' hiv written a book ae poems, Would ye like a sample?
Ye dinnae hae tae give me money, Yer email address is ample
The poems aw tell a' story, The first yin bein' Funny Cunt
Aboot ma debut attempt at comedy, Where a' wiz the litter ae the runt
The next yin's aboot ma Rock Star goal, As a way tae get a sexy wife
A' thought by signin' a deal wi' the Devil, A'd be free ae trouble an' strife
Ye would believe the trouble a' had, The time ma cock got incredibly itchy
When a' chatted up the sexy Nurse, She became the epitome ae bitchy
Every year at Xmas a' get spots, But at least ma face doesnae turn blue
Remember when ye 'hink life is shit, There is aye'ways someone worse aff then yoo
So enter yer details in the form, An' a'll send ye the sample book
Hopefully yoo'll get a chuckle or twa, An' a'll hiv got ye by the hook
Cause really ma ultimate aim, Aftir a' gie ye access tae ma blog
Is tae upgrade ye tae ma paid shit, An' see whit else a' kin flog
But we'll no' get intae the richt noo, A' jist like tae pit ma cards on the table
A'm noo like the other Guru's oot there, Whae try tae sign ye up on a fable
Really though, a' jist want tae help, Ye could even be ma affiliate
An' taegethir we could tell the system, We nae longer wish tae associate
So a' look forward tae seein' ye on the inside, By that, a' dinnae mean jail
Some ae ma members get a bit carried awa', Aftir they hear me rant an' wail!
Whit the hell are ye waitin' fur? Enter yer details below
Ye'll get access tae ma book, An' we'll aw be guid tae go!!!
Cheers the noo!!