Peer pressure ends his first relationship, and a year of drunken late-night phone calls proves the grass isn’t always greener.

Underage cocktails, a first girlfriend and a starring turn on TV’s “The Hit Man and Her” — where Billy loses to a wig but wins over the apprentice mess room.

Billy’s bargain Falkirk flat comes with neighbours who’ll replace a stolen TV within the hour — cash in hand, no warranty — and a darkly comic plan to solve his burglary problem for good.