Clusterfuck Circus Debacle

Back in May 2020 some events unfolded which caused me to take down some photos and videos I had posted regarding Clusterfuck Circus. I didn’t want to post this blog but as someone started harassing me recently to let them know what happened I have decided to put my side of the story here so that he can fully see what happened and for the other performers who were supposedly affected too.

Here is a rather long breakdown of the shenanigans.

This video shows the initial post and comments on facebook and then the correspondence between myself, Oliver and his girlfriend.

This is the skit Lawrence done that I mention in the video. I am using here as evidence, not to steal anyone’s intellectual property.

Here is a video message I sent to Gordon at the time.

Here is the message I sent Oliver which got no reply.

Hello Oliver,

Zuri informed me that you didn’t know why I removed the videos from facebook.

I would have preferred to have had a chat with you via webcam but as you don’t seem to
want to do that I guess this way will have to do.

Firstly let me say that I should have got back to you sooner after you messaged me to ask why
I left the group but I didn’t want to go into it in detail at the time and if I wrote ‘I don’t stay where I’m not welcome’ I would have had to explain further. Please accept my apologies for the delayed response.
So here it is now.

I mentioned to you before that I was thinking of leaving the group. That was directly after Gordon, Lawrence and to a smaller extent Eddy (who like Lawrence post) had a go at me for posting a link to something they didn’t agree with. I did not say what I thought about the link, I just shared it.

Gordon told me that he objected and that I had built a page up promoting lesser known performers and therefore had no right to use that page to promote stuff he doesn’t agree with apparently.

I did not post it on my page, it was on my personal profile and my page and website had been going a long time and it was not set up to promote others to make myself populer. I video others because I am at a gig with my camera and I appreciate their efforts and would like to help them promote themselves. At no time have I ever asked a penny for doing this despite spending quite a considerable amount of time editing photos and videos and writing blogs.

I did ask the group to sign up to patreon and then later to help me with a book launch which on both occassions received nothing but crickets…..apart from Gordon who did purchase a pre-copy of the book. Fair enough.

I was trying not to reply to Gordon as I did not want to get involved in an arguement but then Lawrence thought it necessary to say his piece.

When I woke up at 5 in the morning another friend had a go at me for sharing a link so I felt I had to respond. I did this by recording a video to Gordon and then messaging him and leaving a response on the post saying that just because I post something doesn’t mean to say I endorse what it is saying 100%. It is just information and then asking if they knew anything about a specific point I raised to see what level they were at with awareness of the topic and perhaps have an adult discussion about it.

Then Lawrence responded by saying basically just because I made videos for him that didn’t mean he owed me his silence and that he went to an institution and was therefore cleverer than me and that I should shut up.

I could only respond by saying ‘I see, thanks’ because I don’t waste my time talking to people who know it all and I didn’t want to inflame the situation but needless to say I was mightily pissed off. The only reason I stayed in the group was because of my friendship and respect for you but I have to say my heart was not in it for the recording for the next episode which was why they were a bit later than normal for me.

You had announced in the group there was to be a birthday celebration which would highlight the past two years of gigs and stream in nicensleazy page. I thought it would have been courteous of you to ask if you could use my footage but I thought that you must had thought we are close enough so you took it for granted. Fair enough. I am not trying to be picky for no reason.

Then I went to the nice n sleazy page and saw the promo for the group which was Gordon, Tubz, Lawrence, Helen and Nico but I wasn’t mentioned there either. (Although you did add Nob later but I’m not sure when)

Then the night before the episode when I was in bed you asked if I could upload the show. I was really tired but managed to start the download before I went to work in the morning. Then on coming home I was trying my best to get it uploaded for you even though I wanted to sleep and this involved removing videos from Vimeo in order to help.

After doing this and starting the stream on time you didn’t mention it on the group which I thought would have been a nice gesture. I wasn’t saying much in the group over the past couple of months because I felt like it had turned into the Lawrence appreciation society and when Richard tried to post something he got shot down in flames by the clever one.

So, anyway I sat down to watch the show and was enjoying it up to the point Lawrence started saying he hates the song, hates it more than anything and hates it..

and at the exact time with no delay in unison I said with him…..More Than Hitler.

That was obviously put in there 100% to reference and have a go at me which as I said, I was trying to forget about but when I am effectively hosting a stream for people who I have done a lot for with little or no thanks, only for one performer to go out of there way to make a point to me I felt that I had no choice but to pull the videos.

Scott Redmond had an issue with me after being filmed at Clusterfuck when he said because I was anti-semetic I should remove his video. I did without replying to him.

I felt that if people do not want to be associated with me because of what I post on facebook then I will do them a favour and remove the videos.

After a few days I got a message from Lawrence saying ‘Hey fella, I have no idea why you took the videos off. If its about the money I will pay you.’

I sent him the video yesterday and put all the clusterfuck ones on youtube. If you want I can add to facebook again.

So thats why I done what I did. Now that some time has past I concede I maybe did act rashly but I hope you can see why I did what I did. I do not want to fall out with you but if you don’t want to get back to me that is your choice.

I did buy 2 clusterfuck t-shirts as I said I would and as a gesture to you of reconciliation.

I hope you got a good response from the Nice N Sleazy stream.

As I said to you at the time, I thought I had found a group that I could belong to but even with Clusterfuck Circus it seems you have to fit into the box of normality and not question anything you see, or at least run it by Lawrence and Gordon first to see if its ok to post just a link….I stress, not my opinion on something.

Anyway, I guess that’s it. Take care.

Zuri never got back to me either.

Anytime a performer asked me for a copy of their video I gave it. If they wanted it removed I removed it. All for no charge. All the videos are currently on youtube and have been for quite some time and are shareable. Just not to people who delete my credits, put their own on and claim it for themselves. That’s called theft. That’s why youtube and facebook upheld my claims. Simple.


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