Billy’s Story

The Short Version

I’m a Scottish comedian, poet, interviewer and general nuisance who has spent the last 25+ years creating things, performing on stages I probably shouldn’t have been on, and writing about it all so you don’t have to make the same mistakes. I’ve lived in Turkey, performed at the Edinburgh Fringe more times than was sensible, written five books, conducted over 160 interviews, reviewed over 160 concerts, and somehow ended up here telling you about it.

If you want the full version, keep reading

South Queensferry

I grew up in a small town near Edinburgh called South Queensferry. You’ll know it from the Forth Rail Bridge, which appears on roughly half of all Scottish postcards. It was a decent place to grow up if you didn’t mind the wind.

At 16 I got a job at the petrochemical plant in Grangemouth. By 17 I’d moved to Falkirk on my own, which mostly meant my flat became party central for every friend I had. They could come and go as they pleased. I had to drink with every single one of them in turn.

Somewhere in there I started watching Bill Hicks and something clicked. Not the comedy itself, though that was part of it. More the idea that you could get on a stage and actually say what you think instead of just going along with things. Around the same time I watched a David Icke video called Turning of the Tide, and that changed how I looked at the world for good. Between the two of them, the factory was never going to hold me for long.

The Great White Shaft

My first comedy character was The Great White Shaft. The year was 2000. I wore a 70s suit and a blue afro wig and did my best to bring something different to the open mic circuit. The first gig at a new comedy club was amazing. The crowd were with me from the start and I absolutely stormed it.

Naturally, this gave me a big ego. So when I went back two weeks later with a brand new longer wig I’d picked up in London, I totally bombed. I honestly haven’t been able to watch the video back to this day.

That pretty much set the pattern for my comedy career. One night you’re flying, the next you’re dying. If you can handle that, you can handle anything.

[Link: Watch The Great White Shaft footage →]

Hamish McTavish

By 2002, I’d created a new character called Hamish McTavish (later McScottie). This was the year I put on my first one-man show at the Edinburgh Festival. Hamish was a bit more grounded than The Great White Shaft, which isn’t saying much, but at least I didn’t need the wig.

These were the early days of making videos on a computer, and I was learning as I went. The gigs were rough. The recordings were rougher. But I filmed everything and I kept everything, which is how I ended up with the archive you can explore on this site.

[Link: Hamish McTavish archive →]

Nob Stewart

Then came Nob Stewart, and things got properly interesting.

Nob is Scotland’s Greatest Living Psychopath, or at least he thinks he is. He writes poetry in broad Scots, sings songs about things that would make your granny faint, and has absolutely no filter whatsoever. He first appeared around 2005 at a cabaret night called Drop Beat Cafe in Edinburgh, where naturally the CD player didn’t work and a couple of musicians from the audience had to back me up on the spot.

The Nob became my main character for years. Over 100 posts on this site document his adventures, from Edinburgh pub basements to an Irish bar in Turkey where I accidentally played the wrong backing track in front of a room full of unsuspecting grannies, right as the mosque outside started blasting the evening prayer through the open doors.

That was supposed to be my preparation for the Edinburgh Festival. Comedy is glamorous like that.

[Link: The Nob Stewart archive →]

The Edinburgh Fringe

I performed at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2002, 2009, 2011, 2012, 2014, 2019 and 2021. Each one was its own adventure.

2009 was the Free Festival at the Argyle Bar. It turns out a walk across the Meadows is too far for most festival-goers. The first gig had no audience at all. Every second of every gig from that run is on this site, because I believe in showing you warts and all.

2011 was the big one. I performed every day, did open spots around town, got involved in the Malcolm Hardee Comedy Awards, took part in the debate with Janey Godley, Kate Copstick, Bob Slayer and Paul Provenza. And then there was Cockgate, which involved Kunt and the Gang, Bob Slayer, and a sequence of events that I’m not sure I should put in this introduction. You can read the full story on the site.

I also kept a daily diary during the 2011 Fringe, writing up each day as it happened. It’s one of the most honest accounts of what it’s actually like to do a run at the Edinburgh Festival when nobody knows who you are and you’re surviving on adrenaline and stubbornness.

[Link: Edinburgh Fringe archive →]

Turkey

In 1995 I went to see The Rolling Stones in Sheffield and met a Turkish woman. One year and twelve days later we were married. Mainly so I could escape the lifestyle I had with my friends, if I’m being honest.

Our son was born in 2004, and in 2006 we moved to Antalya in Turkey to be near her family. That was the start of over a decade of my life in a completely different world.

I set up a website called Antalya Living that got featured in the Todays Zaman newspaper. I ran quiz nights at the King Bar. I drove a motorbike to waterfalls for riverside picnics. I tried to find somewhere, anywhere, to do stand-up comedy in a country with no comedy clubs. I ended up performing Nob Stewart in an Irish bar 20 miles away to a room of expat golfers who had no idea what was about to hit them.

My first marriage ended in 2010. I stayed in Turkey to be close to my son. I came back to Scotland in October 2013, then realised what I’d left behind and went back in August 2014. I married a second Turkish woman. We divorced. I brought my son back to Scotland for his education, and he’s now back in Turkey studying music.

Twelve years in Turkey. That’s not a holiday. That’s a whole chapter of a life. There are over 120 published posts and hundreds more in the archive covering those years. The Turkey section of this site is something I’m still building out, because there’s so much more to tell.

[Link: Turkey archive →]

Back to Scotland

I came home properly around 2018. My partner Emma and I settled back into Scottish life, and I started going to gigs again. A lot of gigs. I’ve now reviewed over 160 concerts, from Bruce Springsteen at the Stadium of Light to Acid Mothers Temple in a Glasgow basement. If it happened on a stage in Scotland in the last seven years, there’s a decent chance I was there with a camera.

I also got back on the comedy circuit. Steven Magners gave me spots at Piston Broke in Dundee. Oliver Pissed gave me my first gig back at Tennants Bar in Glasgow. I performed at Nice N Sleazy, Henry’s Cellar Bar, and various other venues where the audiences range from enthusiastic to deeply confused.

[Link: Concert reviews →]

Shooting the Shit and Interviews

When Convid hit, I started doing a livestream called Shooting the Shit. What began as a way to stay busy became something much bigger. I started interviewing people. A lot of people.

Over 160 interviews now, and counting. David Icke, Dr Andrew Kaufman, Dawn Lester, David Parker, Steve Hughes, Craig Campbell, Tom Stade, Chris Thrall, Jacqui Deevoy, Gareth Icke. Comedians, musicians, authors, researchers, activists, and people with stories that needed telling.

I also ended up being interviewed myself. Tommy Coyle, Johnny Cirucci, Caleb Stewart, TNT Radio. It turns out if you talk to enough people, eventually they want to talk to you.

The interviews are one of the biggest sections of this site. I’m proud of every single one of them.

[Link: Full interview archive →]

The Books

I’ve written six books and self-published all of them.

Ordinary Punter…..with his mind turned on! – The early version of my humourous poems in English and the early spiritual poems. These appear in later books.

Buckin’ Cunny Funt — Humourous poems written in Scottish about a drink and drug fuelled lifestyle with some sex and rock’n’roll mixed in.

Duality or Love — Deeper poetry. The stuff I learned going down rabbit holes, searching for who controls what, and trying to make sense of it all.

Politically Corrected — More poetry with a political edge.

The Plane Facts — Exactly what it sounds like. Questions that needed asking.

Sex, Drugs & Marriage — The story of my adventures, written from the heart.

Each book has a narration version (me reading them aloud) and AI-generated music versions where the lyrics have been turned into actual songs. I’m told that’s unusual. I’ll take it.

[Link: Books →]

What This Site Is

BillyWatson.TV is everything. Twenty-five years of creating things, captured and documented.

Comedy characters. Edinburgh Fringe diaries. Twelve years in Turkey. Over 160 interviews. Over 160 concert reviews. Five books. Poetry in Scottish and English. Video blogs. Music. Observations. Stories. Mistakes.

It is, for better or worse, one man’s creative life laid out in front of you.

I don’t claim to be anything other than what I am. Some of the videos are rough and ready. Some of the writing is raw. But everything here is real, and all of it is mine.

If you’re new here, the [Start Here] page will point you to the best of everything.

If you enjoy what I do and want to help me keep doing it, the [Support Billy] page will show you how.

Thanks for paying a visit.

Cheers!

Billy