I sit here tonight on my balcony
With the wind blowing a furious gale
I wonder which direction my life will take
When I raise my frequency sail
I’ve always done what I’ve always got
Which leads to the same old solutions
I don’t want to plan where I want to go
But I do need to stick to resolutions
I’ve become lazy, tired and dull
I have lost belief in what I have to say
No-one is interested when I offer it for free
So how the hell am I going to make it pay?
So instead of getting up with excitement
Starting to write from early doors
I just piss about on various websites
Treat my creative tasks like chores
I realise I shouldn’t look at it that way
I am not doing myself any favours
Instead of stirring the depths of my soul
I spend all day coming up with waivers
I recently tried to study poetry
To learn its rules and regulations
Instead of giving me a working template
It just raised unrealistic expectations
I now put too much pressure on myself
To be the greatest poet of all time
Or at the very least compare myself
With the greats who didn’t even rhyme
As for metre, well you can forget that
All that counting did my head in
I got so caught up in iambic pentameter
Half my day was spent as a mathematician
So now I am thinking about giving up
Putting my thoughts down on the screen
After all I have as much knowledge of art
As the irrepressible Mr Bean
Mind you, I could use some tricks of NLP
To reframe my labour of love differently
Maybe I should look at myself as a layman
Who produces masterpieces, incidentally
That would certainly take the heat off
Allow me some room to breathe
Then without worrying about the outcome
I could allow my thoughts to seethe
In this heightened state of emotion
I am sure I would get different results
From spending all day doing nothing
But hurling self defeating inward insults
I guess that is obvious isn’t it?
Sometimes the truth is so hard to see
You need to put it down in writing
I guess that’s the real reason for poetry
So tomorrow I will put on a smile
Even if I have to grin and fake it
I will write down what’s in my carefree head
That’s all I have to do to make it
Cheers!
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