Or at least that’s hoo a’ like tae ‘hink ae maself
A’ say,‘If ye are goin’ tae dae su’hin, go aw the way
Even if it is detrimental tae yer spiritual an’ physical health’
This should gie ye a clue that this book isnae fur self-help
Unless of course ye dae the opposite of everyhin’ a’ does
Fur nu’hin in ma wurld evir goes the way it is supposed tae
But a’ pit that doon tae ‘The Man’ and the cuntin’ fuzz
This is ma first collection ae stories told in poetic form
It includes tales ae drinkin’, takin’ drugs an’ addictive porn
A’ hoped the writin’ would help me overcome ma misfortunes
But a’ve since figured oot a’ wiz destined tae be society’s thorn
Nonetheless a’ hope that ye kin learn fae ma coontless mistakes
Or at least get a laugh ae recognition if ye hiv shared the same fate
Maybe the tales will serve as a warnin’ no’ tae go tae far aff the rails
Or tae at least get sober afore committin’ tae an unsuitable mate
A’ write ma stories doon in ma aen broad accent vernacular
No’ worryin’ tae much aboot the lack ae English translation
Hooever, as ye read, please dinnae get the wrang end ae the stick
A’ amnae an average representation ae the ‘hale Scottish nation
A’ am a yin aff, a renegade, a deeply tormented soul
Whae lives life on ma aen terms, most often embracin’, ‘The Fool’
There is nae rhyme nor reason tae the adventures a’ undergo
Apart fae ma endless quest tae nevir yince be cool
After reading the book a’ am sure ye will wholeheartedly concur
That cool is the opposite ae whit a hiv managed tae achieve
Ye may hae many words tae describe ma lack ae social mores
But ye cannae deny a’ wear ma badly bruised heart on ma sleeve
So, settle in fur the ride, fur it will be a tumultuous one
Ye may wun’er hoo it wiz possible tae get intae sae many scrapes
A’ only ask that if ye enjoy ma tales, tae please share them
Fur if a’ dinnae get rich soon, a’ will furevir carry a tonne ae sour grapes
Cheers the noo!
Donate
