I’m articulate, confident, humble and loving
I love to listen to people talking, whistling or humming
I know how to project good feelings down the camera
I understand the nature of television is drama
When interviewing I would realise the importance of listening
Because I know interviewees respect good questioning
When talking directly to people at home
I’ll be their best friend, just in case they’re alone
All in all I am a dependable chap
Who can also be cheeky and up for a laugh
My personality would suit being on TV
I’d love the opportunity just to be me
That was the text I used as a cover letter
For a job I didn’t come close to getting
I have since came to realise the game
And no longer waste any time celebrity fretting
I am not a dedicated follower of bullshit
So there is no way I can be let loose on TV
Even if I tried my best to conceal what I know
Eventually I know it would get the better of me
I would be chatting away to some famous cunt
Pretending to show that I give a fuck
Then a torrent of abuse would spew forth
Cause that’s what you do when you don’t like duck
Cheers!
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