I never started puberty until I was fifteen!! It was an absolute nightmare. Every night I used to lay in bed praying to God. ‘Please God, give me a sign that something is happening down there. Please, just one hair! I don’t even care if it’s ginger!’.
Christ, at that point, I would have taken purple pubes. It could have been a novel way to score with the chicks, ‘Hey sweetheart, would you like to see my purple pubes? Come on and I’ll show you all two of them…as long as you promise not to laugh at my baby dick’.
I was also sick of going into the showers after gym class and being jealous of all the other guys with their two big hairy balls and a dick like a beef olive.
Whereas mine was more like an actual olive. ….and that was in its erect form.
I blame my lack of pubic hair for my potential football career going down the drain. I used to be a, ‘a good wee player’, but I had to give it up because I just couldn’t face seeing all the other guys my age in the shower after the game, showing off their hairy ball sack, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Well, it might have been natural for most fifteen-year-old boys but not for poor little, ‘Peachy Joe’. That was my nickname in the team, Peachy Joe. They used to shout, “Hey, Peachy. Peachy. Pass the ball Peachy. Come on, what’s the matter with you?”
I’d shout, “Here, take the fucking ball. I don’t want the fucking thing. Ya shower of wankers”.
Not realising my Freudian slip at the time, as they had probably been wanking for years at that point.
I could stroke it but it didn’t have a wet and sticky end result so I am not sure if you could call it wanking.
All I could do with mine when it was hard was pretend it was one of those kids inflatable punchbags and flick it to the side, just to watch it bounce back up again.
At my High School when it came time to make your choices of what subjects to take for third and fourth year there was one column with all the dodgy subjects in, that weren’t that useful as far as getting a job in the real world was concerned but you had to choose one of them or else the class wouldn’t exist.
All my friends got to choose PE, Physical Education. Which was obviously the best choice in that column, as at least it was fun. I, on the other hand, was forced to choose RE. Religious Education. I was stuck in class with the teacher, Dan, Dan, the religious man, crying my eyes out. I used to look out the window to see all my mates outside on the sports field, showing off to the girls by hoicking their shorts, to adjust for their big balls to fit into comfortably.
I could read their lips, saying things like, “Alright Sarah darling. Coming down the disco tonight, Sarah darling?”
At least that’s what my paranoid mind told me they were saying, at which point my shower of tears turned into a torrential downpour. What chat up line could I use?
‘Alright Sarah darling? Fancy a game doctors and nurses? I’ll show mine if you show yours…. although mine may look identical to yours ….at least at first glance. If you look closely you will see my clitoris is actually a penis’. I was trans before trans was trans.
I thought that every girl who would ever see my cock would just piss themselves laughing and tell me to go fuck myself. Which given my inward growing cock would have been quite the challenge. Or maybe that would have made it easier.
Since about the age of thirteen I had to listen to my friends talk about shagging this bird or shagging that bird. Even after I started puberty, I couldn’t go and shag anyone with my peanut dick could I? I had to just shag the family facecloth.
My family probably just thought it was some soap that had embedded itself on to it, but it was actually my cum that they were washing their face in. I think that’s why I resent God so much, because after learning about them in R.E, I used to pray to every god under the sun, the Christian one, Allah, Buddha, Jehovah, Jeshua, Yahweh and as many of the Hindu ones I could remember, and not one of them kick started my puberty before fucking fifteen, when one of them apparently took pity on me!
Cheers!
Donate
