My first shagging experience was a disaster. The whole thing was more of an ordeal than a pleasurable experience.

First off, I’d just went into a chemist and grabbed the firstpacket of condoms I saw. I didn’t stop to inspect them or askfor advice. Turns out I bought some extra-large ones by mistake. I didn’t know they came in different sizes.

It was like putting a chipolata into Big Foot’s stocking. It made me feel inadequate from the get go.

The actual sex, if I’m lucky, lasted about thirty seconds. No sooner had I said, ‘It’s in! It’s in! My cock is in your pussy!’ Than my face contorted and it was all over.

The extra layers of rubber didn’t help prolong the ending.I didn’t feel as though I’d lost my virginity at all. More like I’d just misplaced it …… only to find it again a minute later.

Cheers!