Her school friends didn’t have a good impression of me either because one night after coming home from the local underage nightclub, we both fell out of a taxi and then rolled down a steep embankment which at least got us to the start of the underpass which led to her parents’ house.

I thought that an appropriate spot to get her on her knees and give me a blowjob.

It was at that point a few of her school friends entered the underpass.
I was then sick to the side of us and somehow dropped a fiver into the pool of spew.

I picked it up as she continued to blow me just as her friends passed us.
I was like, “A’right? I don’t think she’ll be passing her written French exam next week. Her forte is oral”.

My girlfriend was that drunk she hardly even noticed her friends or the spew for that matter, but she was under no illusions that they had passed by when she got a round of applause when entering the registration class on Monday morning.

Her dad used to love butterscotch mousse which I got fed regularly when staying there for dinner.

I can’t taste that flavour now without feeling a bit sorry for him and indeed his daughter, although if she ever reads this book, she would no doubt realise she got a lucky escape.

Cheers!