A’ took Natasha fur a’ day oot along the coast ae the Antalya region. We started aff at Phaselis. It cost about 8TL per person tae get intae the area which really pisses me aff. A’ thought this earth wiz made fur every yin tae walk on, whae are these cunts that ‘hink they kin jist cordon certain areas aff an’ make people pay tae enter them? Oh aye, it’s the government that we apparently vote fur. Clever us.

Anyway, yince ma blood pressure had calmed doon a’ bit a’ got intae the swing ae ‘hings by gettin’ ma Information book oot an’ sussin’ oot whit we were lookin’ at, startin’ wi’ the Aquaduct.

It wiz thirsty wurk catchin’ up on aw the history ae the place an’ climbin’ ower the ruins but thankfully this geezer wiz sellin’ some Orange and ma favourite, Pomegranate juice. He even let me squeeze it masel but never offered any reduction in price even though a’ put the labour in.

Aftir walkin’ aroond the ancient city, Natasha and masel foond a nice secluded spot where she played wi’ a couple ae stanes an’ a’ went divin’ fur a bit. Well, yiv got tae, haven’t ye? 😉

Here’s a wee poem a’ wrote aboot oor adventure wi’ a bit ae actual history thrown in. Fuck me, research an’ everyhin’. A’ hope ye appreciate the lengths a’ go tae, tae keep ye informed aboot shit.

A’ hid this Russian bird come tae visit
So a’ took her tae see some sights
A’ thought a’d make the maest ae the opportunity
So a’ made sure a’ packed her crotchless tights

We went tae an ancient toon called Phaselis
It wiz yince conquered by Alexander the Great
Whae apparently spent quite some time in the city
Maybe sucking the bell end ae his mate

The Emperor Hadrian visited there too
Monuments were built tae commemorate the event
But the Phaselians probably didnae pay fur them
As they had a habit of forgetting money they were lent

The ruins today date fae the Roman and Byzantine periods
It has three harbours including a military one
Walls surroond the entire Acropolis
Tae try tae stop pirates fae coming tae hae some fun

The Aquaduct is the maest impressive ruin
Fae a spring on a hill it runs tae the furthest harbour
The Ampitheatre could hauld three thoosand people
So a’ am also assumin’ the toon also had a barber

So a’ hope ye enjoy the video a’ made
Granted, a’ am nae Michael Palin
Thankfully the only bit ae preparation that a’ did dae
Ensured that in the ruins, ma burds pussy took a guid flailin’