This has to be the nuttiest time in recorded history
Just what the hell is going on is a fucking mystery
There are so many religions all after your feeble soul
You don’t know which one will get you out the hole
If you empty your mind and become a Buddhist
Would that make you one of god’s shrewdest?
By accepting the fact that to live is to suffer
Wouldn’t that just make living much tougher?
As for becoming a Muslim I can’t comment much
I just know in Saudi Arabia it is best not to touch
One thing is for sure is that Islam is expanding
Their followers are not shy in being explicitly demanding
The Scientologists are always good for a laugh
But to call them a cult is a monumental gaffe
You wonder just how much they have invested
For if you do Her Majesty’s Police will have you arrested
Then there are the Taoists, that wild and crazy bunch
It is hard to tie them down, they are always out to lunch
They can focus their Chi energy anywhere at will
So if you punch them in the stomach be prepared for the bill
The shamans of this world play by their ancestors rules
From the outside looking in they look like freaky fools
They gain their knowledge by entering different states
Relying on mental strength to negotiate desperate straits
Apparently the misjudged voodoo gods are quite benign
As long as you remember not to piss on their shrine
When they possess the priests, they do it out of love
Not because they’ve been summoned by a wicked dove
Satanists are people who I don’t quite understand
They perform rituals so that Lucifer can command
Some may even get worldly riches and mega stardom
But their wealth is illusory cause they live in constant serfdom
Catholics on the other hand are complete muppets
They gain nothing at all by worshipping false puppets
The bishops, the priests, the vicars and even the Pope
Should be praying to god instead of preying on our hope
Then there are those who read the Holy Scriptures
They believe the Bible has absolutely no conjectures
All they have to do is accept Jesus in their life
The fact he lived so long ago is splitting hairs with a knife
So there you have it folks, which one to choose?
It seems there is a lot at stake and I don’t want to lose
Can’t I just chill out and smoke dope with my friends?
I’ll choose the winning side when this debacle ends
Apparently soon it is all coming to a head
The wise ones are lying in their chosen bed
Each one committed to their multiple choice
Will only one answer be able to rejoice?
It seems to me that everyone has merits and flaws
Maybe I should just believe in good old Santa Claus
Then on the first Christmas after the Judgement Days
I could ask for a time machine to go back, correct my ways
But that would be copping out and not very brave
I just don’t want to be in purgatory with a soul to save
The best thing to do I feel is let my conscience be my guide
Choosing the correct religion is making my brain fried
Cheers!
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