A’ heard there wiz tae be a party at Ben’s
So a went alang tae see ma freends
But when a’ got there, a’ wiz in fur a big shock
Cause a’ got asked tae sing a song
But then they said a’ wiz dain’ it wrang
Where has aw the love gone in Funtalya?

Maybe they didnae like
The song a’ sung wi’ nae mic
A’m nae the best crooner in the wurld
But fur them tae mock an’ jeer
Then turn awa’ an’ drink their beer
Wiz a public disgrace in Funtalya

Ye would hae thoucht aftir aw a’ve done
Tae provide them carefree fun
A’ would hae deserved a little bit mare respect
But instead aw a’ got
Wiz a upward view ae their snot
Times sure hae changed in Funtalya

A’ remember the guid auld days
When friends were friends, even behind yer face
Noo it seems it’s aw a matter ae ego
Ok, so they didnae like the wurds
Maybe a’ offended the burds
We used tae hae a guid laugh in Funtalya

A’ guess that’s the nature ae life
At least a’ still hae ma wife
She still loves me even though a’ cannae sing
A’ wish a’could hit a note
Then maybe a’ wouldnae get their goat
A’ wiz ostracised an’ abused in Funtalya

The funny ‘hing is, despite ma voice
A’ accept ma ‘Hobson’s Choice’
Ye kin only piss wi’ the cock that yiv got
So a’ will continue tae sing
In spite ae aw the misery a’ bring
They kin aw go get fucked in Funtalya

Maybe ye are lonely too
Ye dinnae fit in wi’ the cliquey few
Dinnae let othir people drag ye doon
Ye’ll return tae god above
If ye demonstrate true love
In face ae aw the evil in Funtalya

So that’s the end ae this song
Thanks fur stickin’ aroond sae long
Ye are better freends than the yins a’ left behind
Jist remember tae be yersel
It’s vital fur yer mental health
Jist dinnae stop singin’ at any party in Funtalya