A’ attended an Ayahuasca healin’ ceremony
Where a’ drank twa cups ae revolting liquid
Even though a’ kent fur sure it would make uz sick
An’ turn ma faeces intae Gallons ae runny fluid
The reason fur ma dain’ such a silly ‘hing
Wiz cause it apparently facilitates healin’
An’ aftir aw the trauma a’ve been through
A’ had shut masel aff tae hoo a’ am feelin’
The Aya supposedly drains aw yer negativity
Intae yer stomach where it kin come oot twa ways
Through yer mooth, alang wi’ yer bile
An’ oot yer arse fur whit feels like days
Fur the first four hoors a’ wiznae sick yince
While every’yin else wiz pukin’ intae a pale
But a’ wiz runnin’ back and forth tae the bog
Leavin’ behind uz a brown vapour trail
On aboot ma twentieth visit a’ finally wretched
Ma stomach decided it wiz time for eject mode
A’ stuck ma heed inside the supplied spew bucket
An’ cried oot tae God as a’ finally emptied a load
A’ wiz ower the hump an’ whit a relief
A’ could noo appreciate ma heightened state
Although a’ wouldnae recommend it tae jist any’yin
Unless they want tae quickly lose weight
No’ jist physically but also psychologically
As the next mornin’ ma heart wiz as licht as a feather
A’ kent suh’in’ inside me had changed
A’ jist hoped ma arsehole could be pit back taegether
The Shaman that conducted the ceremony
Asked uz aw hoo we were aw feelin’
Pretty guid wiz the general consensus
Despite uz aw spendin’ half the nicht kneelin’
A’ spent the rest ae the day attendin’ his workshop
Which wiz aw aboot uz takin’ oor power back
Guided meditations tae cut mental chains ae bondage
Society’s sheep would certainly caw him a Quack
A’ amnae claimin’ he should replace yer doctor
They both proclaim they hae healin’ knowledge
Yin says that God left aw we need on the planet
The other says that God didnae go tae medical college
A’ am majorly cynical taewards big pharma
Fur instance, a’ refused tae gie ma son a single vaccine
No’ jist cause a’ dinnae want tae poison his blood
But also cause their profit margin is beyond obscene
The Shaman claims that takin’ the jungle medicine
Will hae strengthened ma natural immunity
An’ goin’ through that ordeal wi’ twenty strangers
Certainly gave uz a shared sense ae community
Isnae that whit we are lacking maest these days?
Maybe people need tae get togethir an’ shit mare often
Because anither side affect ae purging in public
It encourages even the maest hardened ego tae soften
We are holdin’ so much emotions bottled inside
We panic at the thought ae exposin’ oor fears
When ye take Ayahuasca they get flushed oot
An’ ye get tae meet the real yoo, aftir aw these years
A’ am surprised masel at hoo much a’ hiv changed
Noo a’ dinnae even need tae get stoned tae hae a wank
A’ hiv stopped watchin’ porn twenty four seven
An’ a’ve got a talkin’ plant fae the jungle tae thank
Ae course there are those whae say it is dangerous
An’ a’ wouldnae deny that their claims are true
The Shamans job is tae remove demons fae yer Aura
But some kin also get in there, while usin’ this Brew
That’s why it should only be taken wi’ respect
In a controlled environment wi’ an experienced healer
It is certainly no’ a recreational pastime drug
If it wiz ye would be haein’ serious wurds wi’ yer dealer
Sayin’, ‘Oi, you didn’t warn me about the effects
The wretching and puking was like a normal Friday night
But getting chased by dragons and enormous snakes
Well, that is the fucking epitome ae fight or flight
I spent the whole night running from my shadow
In the end I had to turn around and face the monster
When I challenged it to a dual to the death
I realised that my life was controlled by an impostor
So now I have to give up all my psychological crutches
And face life like a man, instead of as a whipping boy
I conquered the demon that I realised wasn’t me
Now I have no more excuses not to live a life of joy
I can’t bury my head and pretend I am evolving
When I buy six super lager and a bottle of Buckie
You have changed my whole life and I’ve lost all my pals
I just hope the new improved me will also get lucky’
As a’ said, no’ every’yin should partake in the Brew
Aftir aw, wasnae Pharmakiea warned aboot in the Bible
But in the short term, tae help ye get back on track
Maybe shittin’ yer brains oot, will help ye stop bein’ yer aen rival
The only ‘hing is that a’ keep seein’ mad mental crazy shit
Yesterday in the mirror, a’ saw ma eyeba’s turn black
Apparently that wiznae an aftir effect ae the Aya
That’s jist whit happens when ye go back on the crack
Cheers the noo!
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