They didn’t wait for the ‘highly irritating’ part, which usually got a laugh at the festival, when I double down on it.
They didn’t understand comedy obviously and completely missed the point I was making, which is that we are all getting shafted, regardless of the nationality of our so-called leader.
When they accused me of being racist, I said, “I’m not anti-English …. how can I be? I’ve fucked an English bird!”
Which to this day is one of my favourite lines I have ever said on stage. However, by that time I had dug myself into a massive hole and there was no getting out of it so, I dug even
deeper and ran the gig into the ground just to spite them, English wankers.
Don’t you just hate it when you end up with leaders which we didn’t vote for? Like recently we had Yousouf Humza and Rushi Sunak? Both are from soon to be ethnic majority backgrounds. Nobody voted for them, they got in through the backdoor like Gordon.
Maybe Scottish and English people could unite over our ethnicity being cleansed …. at least until the next ‘auld enemy’ clash at Wembley. Football is great for propagating tribal tendencies.
Mind you the way things are going it won’t be long until Humza bans white players from the Scottish team and changes our national anthem to the Sly and the Family Stone song, ‘Don’t call me Nigga, Whitey’.
I once performed at an African restaurant in Glasgow, to a room of mainly other wannabee comedians, where I tried to explain that it is the context in which we use words, that give them their meaning and power, not necessarily the word itself.
However, they still thought I was racist just for saying the word nick are, with the compere even saying that that word had been deleted! Then he proceeded to tell the whole of the
Scottish comedy circuit that I was racist, and that was another nail in my cancelled coffin. You just can’t win in a world full of fuckwits.
At another gig in Edinburgh, I did a skit about the police and a young American dude told me he loved it and mentioned a N.W.A song called, ‘Fuck the Police’.
I said, “Oh yeah, Nigga’s with Attitude”. He said, “Oh you can’t say that word”.
The word he clearly alluded to by saying N.W.A. I was stunned by how pathetic people are becoming due to their master’s programming.
I got banned from an Aberdeen venue for saying literally, ‘then-word’, not the actual n-word, but apparently even that is too much for the general twats these days. Hence, I have recently given up performing stand up as I can’t water myself down just to appease brain dead monkeys.
People get mind controlled and triggered far too easily, so if that is you, you may as well pass this book onto a friend who still has a sense of humour and you can start hating me now, f
you haven’t already.
For the rest of you who still have some semblance of a brain, let’s have a laugh at the madness of life and the world we inhabit through my life failures and warped sense of humour.
Cheers!
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