My brain either floods with jokes and patter
Or is as dry as a badger’s arse on a fiery fire
I need to find a happy medium between the two
But my excessive personality likes to go to the wire
I wish I could have a couple of beers
Then leave the pub with my head held high
Instead, I drink as much as I can consume
Then have a smoke to make sure I fly
I then think I am the funniest man on earth
My wit astounds others to hysterical screams
If only I could reproduce it on a comedy stage
Then I would certainly be living all of my dreams
In the past I have tried to write down material
Then repeat it with various degrees of success
In the comedy circuit you can’t take any chances
If you want to win in the game of hilarity chess
When I try to do it that way my spirit dies
Then I get angry at my self-imposed prison
If only I had a promoter who was a piss head
That lets drunk comics bring him commission
Maybe I should try to be more professional
To take the time and write down good shit
Then have less than six swallies to help me perform
Hopefully get invited back if I do a good skit
Maybe the material will flow like a bubbly fountain
Or maybe I will improvise my way out of holes
Either way I know I must try to break a leg
Because my life is empty without any humorous goals
Cheers!
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