Last night I made a complete tit of myself
I need to get a grip
I got stoned before going on stage…again
God, sometimes I’m thick as shit
It was an anti-war evening
My first words were totally tragic
I said I wasn’t at the anti-war march on Saturday
Because I was wanking on the internet
What a fucking stupid thing to say
Sometimes I think if I had brains I’d be dangerous
I need to reign myself in dramatically
Or else I should give myself a dose of syphilis
For about the Nineteenth hundredth time
I’d decided to give up smoking dope
This time I really meant it though
I’d decided to get high on hope
But when I saw the crowd
At that rundown dodgy bar
I knew they wouldn’t get me
So I smoked a joint in my car
The trouble is people don’t get
That comedy is supposed to offend
I can’t help probing the donkey
To see if I will finally meet my end
Cheers!
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