If only tae see sites apart fae strip bars an’ endless coffeeshops
A’ didnae take her tae Teasers tae see the burd whae’s tits a’ sucked
In case they charge me fur the damage a’ done while dancin’ on their tabletops
Hooever, a’ still managed tae get masel intae a pile ae trouble
A’ suggested we go tae Casa Rosa, the toons poshest sex show
Aftir no’ been gettin’ on tae well in the bed department recently
A’ hoped the action may at least tempt her, intae gein’ me a blow
Aftir gettin’ inside the theatre like venue, twa bodies started goin’ at it
It is not very erotic, a’ ‘hink they were jist dain’ in fur the money
Little did a’ ken, aboot fifteen minutes later a’ would be performin’
A’m tellin’ ye, hoo these things happen tae me, isnae even funny
Fur aftir the shaggers left, a stripper started dain’ her ‘hing
She asked fur three volunteers fae the audience tae join her on stage
A’ couldnae believe it as a’ watched ma richt arm rise up
An’ neither could ma wife as she started goin’ intae a rage
A’ said a’ felt sorry for the stripper as nae yin else wiz volunteerin’
It wiz mare than likely that they were aw jist tae stoned tae move
She managed tae get twa other guys tae join me fur the show
An’ then she played some funky music an’ telt us tae start tae groove
A’ made the maest ae ma opportunity performin’ tae a large crowd
Fur when a’ dae ma Edinburgh Festival shows ma audience is bare
Jist like the stripper soon would be as she stripped aff while we were dancin’
She chose me fur the grand finale as ma moves had the maest flare
The other twa lads got the auld heave-ho an’ it wiz jist me an’ her
She took out a banana fae somewhere, a’ amnae exactly sure where
Then laying doon, put it in her vagina an’ pulled the foreskin back
A’ wiznae really hungry but she beckoned me doon tae eat there
Whit could a’ dae in front ae four hun’er strangers an’ ma wife?
So ever the showman, a’ stuck ma head doon an’ started munchin’
She grabbed ma heed wi’ her thighs an’ started movin’ it aroond
Oot ae the corner ae ma eye, a’ could see ma wife practisin’ her punchin’
Aftir the deed wiz done we bathe took a bow tae a raptourous reception
She wiz delighted, a’ ‘hink a’ saved her neck, although mine wiz noo in danger
She said, ‘Perfect, perfect’ tae me, an’ a’ wiz absolutely delighted
As a’ kin hardly satisfy ma wife, far less a very loose sex worker stranger
Ma wife wiznae talkin’ tae me when a’ got back tae ma empty seat
A’ tried tae explain a’ didnae touch her genitals, a’ only ate banana
But she didnae buy it an’ made the rest ae the trip a dour affair
The only way a’ could get ma hole again wiz by takin’ her tae Havana
Cheers the noo!
Donate
