I started it in May 2020 when I couldn’t take any more of it
The ridiculous lies and orders from the men in suits
All over the world, the governments were in cahoots
I had done my research starting thirty years ago
It all began when I watched a David Icke video
I saw him two weeks later, performing in my town
All my mates called him the worlds biggest clown
I couldn’t help but follow David down the rabbit hole
Even though my friends thought I had lost my soul
I no longer chose to party like some crazy loon
All I wanted to do was wake the world up with a tune
Unfortunately when I sang I cleared out every bar
So I attempted comedy to enlighten every star
I didn’t realise exactly what I was up against
All the promoters were very much incensed
For I didn’t try to please all the audience
I didn’t think that would make any sense
Instead I tried my best to make me laugh
With my sense of humour, that probably was a gaffe
I was ostracised from their cliquey social scene
Even Billy Connolly to them is totally obscene
I did a gig recently where one guy did admit
I make, ‘The Big Yin’, look like fucking Ronnie Corbett
I have been trying since the early internet days
To share my work online and it never pays
I have spent fortunes on trying to build empires
But they only turned into barely lit feeble fires
But I had kept on studying throughout all my strife
I haven’t even mentioned my psychotic Turkish ex-wife
It was a mistake to give her that tab of LSD
That was to be a tale of untold pain and misery
I found myself with knowledge I couldn’t get out
No-one would let me take the stage to shout
The time had come when I couldn’t keep it in
Shooing The Shit was born, sometimes I made a din
As I write this almost exactly two years later
The need for the truth to get out there is never greater
After looking at Substack, I have decided to get on board
I cannot write normally though, as I would start to snore
So I will post in rhymes for you daily entertainment
I won’t send you every old post or you’ll cancel our arrangement
If you like my shit then I’d be delighted if you upgraded
An audience that cares will make sure I don’t get jaded
Feel free to share my posts, we need all the help we can get
This is a spiritual war we are in and I can’t help but fret
I’d like to build a community that shares love with one another
Instead of one dominated by the evil eye of Big Brother
As I record Shooting The Shits episodes I will update here and when it is in the slideshow the thumbnail will change to the current episode and go to the latest post. Please use the menu to choose which episode you want to watch.
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