It is Valentines Day the ‘morrae
We are aw supposed tae show oor love
Tae the special yin in oor life
The yin whae wiz sent doon fae above
But a’m afraid a’ hiv ootgrown
These childish customs we aw share
So a’ willnae be buyin’ floo’ers or chocolates
Or even compliment her hair
A’ winnae tell her that a’ luv her
Fur a’ am no’ even sure a’ do
Aftir twelve years ae marriage
A’ hae tae force masel tae screw
If truth be told a’ really want
Tae go an’ shag a whore
Cause makin’ luv wi’ the missus
Hiz jist become a chore
A’ want tae spread ma seed,
Intae wumin, young an’ old
God, tae find yin fresh pussy
Wuid be like strikin’ gold
A’ wuid then come hame tae ma wife
An’ tell her aw aboot it
Hoo ma cum ran doon a granny’s face
A’ wuidnae mention the freaky shit
Hopefully she wuid be inspired
Tae compete wi’ the hag
Cause a’ve forgotten whit it feels like
Tae hae a carefree shag
Fur back in the auld days
A’ cuidnae wait tae get ma willy in
A’ guess that’s why a’ thoucht
She wiz the chosen yin
But noo she hiz this way ae deflatin’
Ma yince fortnichtly erection
So a’ noo tak care ae it masel
While a’ starve her ae affection
Fur while a’m haein’ sex
A’ dinnae want tae hear aboot oor boy
So noo when she wants a cuddle
A’ jist hand her, her cuntin’ toy
A’m convinced if she’d agree
Tae let me shag othir burds
Oor sex life wuid improve
Immeasurably beyond wurds
A’ wuid get ma appetite back
Fur the sexual act
An’ a’ wuid appreciate her mare
Although she strongly doobts this fact
The only ‘hing that wuid worry me
Wuid be, if she demanded the same
An’ started seein’ sae many guys
She’d as well be on the game
Cause her chances ae puwin’
Are licht years aheed ae mine
So maybe a’ shuid cut ma losses
An’ tak ma wife oot tae dine
Maybe that wuid pit the romance
Back intae oor relationship
An’ if we want tae ignite some passion
We kin pit the lichts oot when we strip
We cuid try tae keep oor gubs shut
So we dinnae further estrange
An’ aw those auld pent up resentments
Cuid be released in a fluid exchange
Fur the grass isnae aye’ways greener
On the othir side ae the fence
Cause gettin’ divorced fae that bitch
Wuid be a hell ae a fuckin’ expense
So a’ guess a’ll hae tae remain married
Tae ma consolation trouble an’ strife
A’ll jist fantasise that a’m a mormon
That hiz mare than yin horny wife
A’ certainly wuidnae go the ‘hale hog
An’ collect real, flesh an’ blood wives
Fur that wuid be sure tae bring me oot
In a permanent rash ae hives
It’s hard enough tae deal wi’
Jist yin wife beggin’ fur a lay
Afore a’ get pissed an’ ruin yince again
Her fuckin’ ‘happy Valentine’s Day’
Cheers the noo!
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